Two-Part Post, thus the two titles. Here is "
Anatomy of a Secret":
I mentioned
a few posts ago that I wasn't blogging much because I had two secretive things coming up for my sister, and since she regularly reads my blog I couldn't discuss them here.
Well, the shower has already happened. In fact, it was on the Sunday before Easter. Way back when, when she had just become engaged, I had asked Cheryl if she wanted to be surprised or not when it came to her shower. She mentioned that if we COULD surprise her, she would like us to. And why not? My wedding shower was a complete surprise*, and we tried to surprise Eileen for her wedding shower, but she had us pegged all along it seems. And after that, we even threw a surprise 30th wedding anniversary for my parents. Cheryl was involved in the planning of all these prior events, so one thing was clear - she knew how we operated, and she knew how we thought. Therefore, WE knew it would take extra effort for us to surprise her.
We knew we'd have to come up with something a little unique. She and her fiance have always liked asian decor, and have a lot of asian-themed stuff in their house. So, we thought about throwing the shower at this really nice chinese-food restaurant near my house, where the food is absolutely to die for. The only problem would be getting her to come out this way. She lives an hour away from here, in a town called Fitchburg (which is on the New Hampshire border, and we live on the Rhode Island border). That in and of itself was a hurdle, but in addition to that my sister does not drive. No matter what, seeing that the wedding is just over a month from now, we figured that getting her and her fiance out this way for ANY occasion would raise suspicions. So we began a whole series of lies a few months ago to lead us up to the shower.
First, my sister came out here so that she and I could go to the mall to get her makeup done at M.A.C., because she has asked me to do her makeup on the day of her wedding and I wanted to watch how they did it. This was all completely legitimate. However, I then told my sister that I still wasn't confident and that I wanted to have her do one more trial run of her makeup, so I "made an appointment" for her to come back to M.A.C. on the day of her shower. The problem was, Cheryl was protesting a bit because she really didn't seem to think a second trip was necessary. I pushed the issue a little too much and when all was said and done I reported back to my mom and to my other sister Eileen that I think she may now suspect that is when her shower is. In other words, I was too eager and too adamant about her coming down for it, she HAD to suspect something was up.
So then, we came up with another scheme. One of my cousins turns 35 tomorrow, so we made up 4 invitations to a "Surprise 35th Birthday Party" for her, mailing one to Cheryl, to myself, to my mom and to Eileen (just in case Cheryl visited any of us she would see that we got the invitation, too). The party would have been this past Saturday night, and the kicker was the location: a local Holiday Inn, the same exact place where Eileen's AND my recent baby showers were held. (Man, our family has been hosting a lot of showers lately!!!) We figured if we said the party was at the Mansfield Holiday Inn, not only would she think it was her shower, but she would also think we were pretty lame and we were doing a lousy job of masking it. My mom even left a brochure from the Holiday Inn "accidentally" on her kitchen counter, placed there deliberately so that Cheryl would spot it, which she did. As it turns out, we later discovered, our ploy would work to some extent: Cheryl and her fiance DID find the brochure and later that evening discussed that this must be where the shower would be taking place, and we also learned that although initially she thought the M.A.C. trip was really her shower, upon getting the birthday party invitation she started to think that it was more likely THAT weekend.
So, if nothing else, we had her confused. Confusion is good. Let's just say, though, that the weeks leading up to the shower were SO stressful because the lies continued, and snowballed.
First, my sister emailed my mom to say she would be coming to get her makeup done on the 2nd of April, and could my mother hem her wedding gown that day? Well, our appointment was NOT on the 2nd, but on the 9th, and we had to somehow get Cheryl back on track without making a big thing about it. I mean, it would look SO obvious if she questionned her about it or if I immediately did, she would know mom and I were discussing it and therefore she would get suspicious. So, a few days later, I emailed her and lied to her about the fact that I got a coupon from M.A.C. for 10% off my total purchase, and said she could use it on "the 9th." She didn't even question me about the date, and I think a few days later when she was talking to my mother she corrected herself and said "yeah I am coming on the 9th not the 2nd, I got the dates mixed up, can you still do my dress that day?" All was good.
Then, her friend RSVP'd for the shower, and this friend informed me that she and Cheryl were going to a concert the night of the shower. This ordinarily would have no bearing on anything, except that my mother got yet another email from my sister saying that she wouldn't have time AFTER our make-up appointment, so could my mother hem her dress BEFORE it? Which of course, she couldn't do, because at that time we'd all be at the restaurant frantically setting up for the shower! So once again, we had to come up with another lie. She told Cheryl that she hadn't finished pinning the dress and probably wouldn't be done in time for her to try it on that weekend, and could we possibly do it the following weekend since she'd be coming down for the surprise birthday party anyways? Cheryl agreed, and we thought another disaster had been averted.
However...
Then Cheryl decided that she was coming down early anyways. Remember, my parents live on the same street as me, 5 houses down. Cheryl said that since she'd be leaving right after the make-up appointment to go to her concert, she would come down early so that she could visit with mom and dad - silly to come all the way down this way and not get to see her parents, right? Except, once again, WE'D ALL BE AT THE RESTAURANT FRANTICALLY SETTING UP FOR THE SHOWER! So I intervened with another email, asking her what time she'd be coming down, "because mom and I are going to a new class at the gym, from 11 - 12", and then I would need to come home and shower, so I wouldn't even be ready until 12:30. Cheryl seemed a but discouraged, and said "Oh...I was going to visit with mom and dad but if she isn't even going to be home, I guess we'll just show up at your house between 12 and 12:30." Great! Another disaster averted.
Except...
This now meant that Cheryl and her fiance would possibly be getting to my house at noon. No problem, right? Wrong! I was supposedly at a class at the gym until noon. So, I would have to go to the restaurant to help set up at 11:15, and then I would have to time it so that I would arrive home slightly AFTER 12...in GYM CLOTHES! No problem there, I would make sure to bring a nice outfit to the restaurant when we were setting up, and once I got Cheryl there I would just go and change my clothes. If she asked where mom was, I would just tell her we took 2 cars to the gym and mom ran to the store after class. Which would not be a hard thing to believe. Disaster averted.
But then...
Anthony, who is on baby-duty the entire day of the shower, tells me that he invited his dad and step mother over for the day, arriving at noon. This would not ordinarily be a problem, but I had no way of knowing if they knew that this shower was supposed to be a secret. So I was extra stressed out, because I pictured my in-laws AND Cheryl and Ron showing up at my house at the same time, and me not there yet because I am at a phantom gym class that didn't even get over until 12, and my in-laws saying to Cheryl "so are you excited for your shower today?" UGH! So I made sure to tell Anthony that if his dad arrived before Cheryl, to make sure they know the shower is a surprise and not to say anything. And I told him if they arrive AFTER Cheryl, to go out to "meet" them in the driveway when they pull in to deliver the same message. Disaster averted?
But still...
There was the question of what to do with Ron. We wanted him to be surprised, too, but we wanted HIM to arrive at the shower BEFORE Cheryl, just to confuse matters more for her. (We were thinking if she arrived and was TRULY surprised and she saw Ron standing there, she'd think he was in on it too, which would be funny!) So there was this whole elaborate scheme figured out based on:
a) if Ron dropped her at my house and went to my parent's house to see my dad,
b) if Ron came into my house with Cheryl.
If "a" happened, then as soon as Ron got there my Dad was going to whisk him away in his car, off to the shower. If "b" happened, then as SOON as I left with Cheryl for our "appointment" Anthony was to call my Dad, who was to come pick up Ron.
The plan was elaborate, complicated, and foolproof, right? And we were all stressed to the max.
The day-of, all was going well. We were at the restaurant at 11:15, setting up and everything looked awesome. I was dressed in gym clothes, and my dressy outfit was hanging up for me to change into later. At 12:00 noon, I headed home to take my "fake" shower (I had already showered for the day) and bring Cheryl.
Imagine my surprise when I walk into my house and my in-laws are there, but my sister is not. "But I saw Ron's car at mom and dad's house," I told Anthony. Then we realized that they had gone for option "c," which had not occurred to any of us - they both went to mom and dad's. This meant that Dad couldn't leave early with Ron!
I called down there and told my dad to tell Cheryl I was taking a really quick shower and then I would come pick her up. I put on grubby clothes - ripped jeans, a zip-up hooded sweatshirt, and flip flops (figuring at this point if she is suspicious at all, she will take one look at the way I am dressed and assume the shower couldn't POSSIBLY be today), and I headed down the street. In my mind, I knew that I would be able to tell if Cheryl knew based on how she was dressed. If she was in anything BUT jeans, she knew today was her shower. If she was in jeans, she didn't know. And then it occurred to me that if she REALLY thought we were getting her makeup done today, she wouldn't be wearing any makeup at all, and that made me feel bad, because it was sort of a cruel twist which I never intended. Oh well, she could use some of my makeup once we got there, since I had none on, myself.
I went in the house and was confused. She was in jeans, with no makeup on, but she was wearing a really nice jacket and pretty jewelry. Hmmm...did she know, or didn't she? I assumed I would immediately be able to tell, but her outfit threw me for a loop. And there was my dad, in an old ripped Hanes tee shirt, jeans, and slippers. All I kept thinking was, is he going to have time to get dressed for the shower and get Ron there BEFORE I get Cheryl there? After a few minutes of idle chit chat I announced to Cheryl that I wanted to get going because "if I didn't get some caffeine in me soon I was going to die." Which right then and there she should have known something was up, because I only now drink decaf coffee. I made up a sob-story about how Amanda was up all night and I didn't get much sleep and that I needed coffee.
We drove to Starbucks, all the while discussing God-knows-what, because my brain was all about the shower. As we left Starbucks, I told her I needed to call Anthony for a second. In fact, I called Eileen to make sure that Dad and Ron were already there and to let them know we were on our way. (Oh, and when I had left them setting up to come home, I had dialed Eileen's cell phone 7 times - turns out she didn't get reception in the restaurant, so I had to call mom's cell phone and I made Eileen hold onto it, we knew mom would be too busy socializing and she'd probably miss my call!)
What I didn't know at the time was that Cheryl was not suspicious at that point - she definitely thought the shower was the following weekend - until she could hear Eileen's voice through my cell phone, and I was supposed to be talking to Anthony. UGH!!!!! She didn't say anything to me yet though.
We pulled into the restaurant, right behind one of her girlfriend's cars. At that point she looked at me and said "You can STOP now, Dawn!" And she explained that the car we were parked behind was her friend's car. I kept playing along, though, saying "I don't know what you are talking about."
All in all, we had her surprised right up until about 5 minutes beforehand, and regardless of that fact, the shower was a huge success and Cheryl and Ron enjoyed themselves tremendously.
But I must say, at that point I was all "secret"ed-out. It is utterly exhausting trying to keep a surprise. Which leads me to the second half of this very long post.
"
Looking for Some Suggestions"
At the shower, during the meal, Cheryl had made a point of telling me that she "had a feeling" about what we might be doing for her bachelorette party, which stupidly enough I was ALSO trying to keep a secret. The Monday after the shower I emailed her at work and asked her to tell me what she thought we were doing. I informed her that there was NO point in me trying to keep up a charade for another two weeks if she already knew. She told me that her guess was that we were staying overnight in a hotel somewhere, either in downtown Boston or in New York City, since only four of us (the wedding party) were going to the bachelorette party. I informed her that she was correct.
This weekend, my friends, I am going to New York City for my sister Cheryl's bachelorette party, with my sister Eileen and Cheryl's best friend Jenn. I am not going to get into any details here, since I told Cheryl that the itinerary is still a secret. Can I just say, I am SO excited? At the same time, each passing day makes me a little sad, because this is going to be my first time away from Amanda, and that will be hard. We are driving, so we are leaving Saturday morning at 5:00AM (Amanda will most likely still be asleep at this hour), and I won't be home until Sunday evening. Anthony is on baby-duty again, and he is looking forward to spending some quality Daddy-time with her. I already warned Cheryl that I will probably be calling home a lot, and she told me she doesn't mind at all. "Call as often as you need to" she said. She sounds SO PSYCHED for the weekend. She should be, it is going to be fun.
Here is where I need some help. I have actually not planned or attended a ton of bachelorette parties, believe it or not. Maybe ten all together? Anyways, one of the things I want Cheryl and us to do is a scavenger hunt, and I am looking for suggestions. I have the standard stuff, "Get a condom from a guy, get a pair of men's underwear from a guy," etc, etc. I am looking for more suggestions for the scavenger hunt - things she has to do or get. Any ideas? It would be greatly appreciated!
*Let me just mention here that for my wedding shower, I was led to believe I was going to a surprise birthday party for my now brother-in-law. The theme was "western" and yes, you guessed it, I showed up for my own damn shower dressed as a cowgirl. They got me GOOD!
