Mother-To-Be or Mother-Not-To-Be, that is the question.

our struggles with infertility

June 06, 2005

THE SUMMER OF NEWPORT

Ah...what a week it has been.

My posting remains sporadic because - YES - I am STILL suffering from tremendous sickness. At 15 weeks!! I am getting tired of EVERYONE telling me "oh, you'll be turning that corner soon and feeling great." Because some women never do turn that corner. And I am starting to mentally prepare myself that this sickness MAY last me the whole pregnancy. A most unpleasant thought, but I figure if I expect the worst, maybe at some point I will be happily surprised.

It got so bad last week that I called in sick to work on Thursday (after non-stop puking) and marched straight to my OB/GYN's office. I said "it keeps getting WORSE! Everyone tells me it should be better, but it keeps getting worse!" She prescribed me some medicine that helps with the sickness, and I haven't thrown up since. I still have the constant feeling of nausea, but it is a fraction better. Which I will take!

The only good thing about getting to go to the doctor was that I got to hear that lovely heart beat once again. I wish I could hear that sound every day, all day. I start getting these crazy, paranoid thoughts every few days that the baby is "gone," despite all evidence to the contrary (my growing belly, my constant nausea). Hearing that heartbeat helped me to get through another few days essentially worry-free.

This weekend, though, was fabulous. Let me just preface this by saying that we had a nearly record-breaking winter with the amount of snowfall we got, and this May was the "worst in history" for Massachusetts - for real. There were maybe two days in the whole month that had anything resembling sun, and it was cold, rainy and in the 40's for most of the month. The 40's! In May!!!! Every single weekend this month rained. It was horrible. People were depressed and angry and cursing the damn weather every day. And then came this past weekend, where summer decided to make an early appearance. My friends, I have a sunburn - and I couldn't be happier about it.

The other good thing is that we sort of realized that even though we moved to the southern border of Massachusetts - far away from Boston and everything familiar - we are now closer to Rhode Island. Which means we are closer to Newport.

It was such an easy drive to Newport I couldn't believe it, and coming over the bridge in the convertible, seeing all the sailboats in the water and the postcard ocean view ahead of us, well it was just what this weather-depressed New Englander needed.

On our drive home from the beach yesterday, Anthony and I decided that this would be the "Summer of Newport" - that on EVERY nice weekend day that we don't have other plans, we're spending our time in Newport. After all (we remind ourselves daily) we cannot just pack up and do this sort of thing NEXT summer - having a baby will limit our spontaneity. Yesterday was the most perfect, perfect day, and even though I felt sick for much of it I just kept telling Anthony over and over how happy I was.

Life is pretty good these days, if I must say so.

Even if the last regular pair of pants that I was still able to squeeze into no longer fit, as of Saturday! From here on out I guess it is all maternity clothes, all the time!

|