LOVE SOMETIMES COMES IN A LITTLE BLUE BOX, TIED WITH WHITE SATIN RIBBON

I think I may be the single most spoiled brat in the world.

I was preparing to give myself the next shot, and I shouted down to Anthony that I would be down in a minute. I stepped into the bedroom and started changing into my pj's and then I saw IT....

A turquoise-blue bag with white rope handles sitting on my pillow on the bed. Stamped across the face of the bag "Tiffany & Co."

Next, I did what came naturally....I screamed.

"What did you do? What did you DO?" I kept shouting down to Anthony. I could hear him laughing.

PJ's still half-on, I went flying down the stairs with my new prize in hand.

He said "You're going to go through a lot this month. This is a present for you, since you have to bear the brunt of all of...this" he says as he gestures toward the table with all the syringes.

I am so spoiled.

And I have the most thoughtful, sweet husband in the world.

"And," he adds, "if none of this works and we can't have kids, this is the first of many more items from Tiffany's. Not that it even compares to a baby, but if we can't have one then we're going to spoil ourselves rotten."

I love the blue box with the white satin ribbon almost as much as what was inside - a gorgeous, silver mesh bracelet.

My injection was painful tonight, but it doesn't matter because I've got a beautiful Tiffany's bracelet, and a wonderful, wonderful, WONDERFUL man. Sometimes life is actually pretty surprisingly good, all wrapped up like a nice present, never knowing what's waiting inside.

ONLY 4.5 PERCENT??

The injection? Not so bad. I only made one mistake and quickly recovered from it - I switched needles before drawing the medicine up into the syringe, and thus had to use a second syringe which was kind of a waste but nevertheless worked. I mixed all the ingredients properly, kept everything sterile, and the injection was practically pain-free. I opted to inject myself in the thigh - there are three locations you can do it: the back of the arm (which would mean that Anthony would have to do it, and that just ain't happening), the abdomen (can you say Ouch?) or the upper front part of the thigh. This sounded the safest to me.

I haven't mastered the one-hand grasp of the syringe while pushing the plunger, so I needed Anthony to hold my leg while I two-handedly gave myself the medicine. Funny, but I thought Anthony was going to pass out, he couldn't even watch me stick the needle in. So, just to repeat, the injection? Not so bad.

The drug prep? VERY time consuming. Just mixing the drugs alone took almost a half hour, and I need to repeat this at the same time every night. Anthony tried to reassure me that after a few nights I will be doing it in seconds, without even thinking about it. However, I really don't want to get to a point that I am that blase about it. After all, one teeny tiny mistake could mean devastating medical consequences, so if it takes a half an hour a night, so be it.

The side effects? Well, that's another story. So far I haven't even had the Gonal-F in my system for 12 hours and....well, I feel like shit. I feel like I gained 15 pounds in bloat overnight. I have a splitting headache. I have cramps - are those menstrual cramps, drug cramps, or a combination of both? I don't know. I am feeling too gross to even notice if my emotions are off kilter. I guess that fun surprise remains to be seen.

Gosh I hope this works, going through the next 14 days of this is going to be rough, I am not sure that I can go through multiple cycles of this. If someone could guarantee me a healthy baby as the successful outcome of this, then no problem - I can do this standing on my head. But the uncertainty of whether or not this - or any treatment for that matter - will work, is just sometimes too much to bear. The odds of this working are 4.5% this cycle, and I am not sure that these pains are worth the 95.5% chance that it will fail.

But I am still willing to try, because one never knows....

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE WOMAN ON FERTILITY DRUGS

I've had this conversation with my husband and with my parents, and now I am mentioning it here in case some bizarre posts start showing up. I have been warned that these hormone injections that I will begin taking tonight are going to wreak havoc on my emotions. I cannot be held responsible for anything I say or do over the next 24 days, and that is just a fact.

It's the drugs, baby.

AREN'T LONG WEEKENDS JUST THE BEST THING EVER?

...Until you get back to work on Tuesday and remember that you have to now cram a week's worth of work into 4 days, and you are now behind on EVERYTHING.

Oh well, I'll still take a long weekend anytime one is being handed out.