MIGHTY POWERFUL GRAIN OF RICE

I yelled at my child for the very first time.

I actually started yelling at my belly this morning, asking it "Why are you doing this to your mommy? Why are you making me so damn sick? WHY?"

God, morning sickness is miserable. Yes, I admit it - I am complaining. Not complaining in that I would take the alternative (not being pregnant), but complaining nevertheless because it is impossible not to. It is especially tricky to deal with this when I have to get up very, very early each morning. But I have to do this in order to deal with my 1 1/2 to 2 hour commute in to work every day.

Which, I might add, is also quite fun with morning sickness. My car is fully equipped at all times with saltines and a passenger seat "puke bucket." The only thing missing in my car is a toilet, because my bladder is so damn full by the time I make it to Boston I have to clinch and scamper into the office like a lunatic. It is quite challenging. Most mornings I hit one point where I am stuck in gridlock and there is a moment where I become paralyzed with fear that I am either going to throw up all over myself, or wet my pants.

Yeah, this is fun.

Still, it is of course what I have hoped and dreamed for, for so long. And I KNOW this is temporary. Right? RIGHT??

Anyways, thought I would post a picture of the little teeny grain of rice causing me all this sickness. The black, teardrop shape is the embryonic sac. The circular shape within it and to the right is the yolk sac, and the grain-of-rice looking thing to the left of the yolk sac is Baby Corrado.


Baby Corrado at 7 weeks. 

For such a little thing, he (she?) sure is doing a number on me!

(I keep telling Anthony it looks just like him. He is not appreciating this attempt at humor.)

I SPOKE TOO SOON...

I am so foolish.

Really, I am an asshole!

No sooner did I say the words out loud "Maybe I will be spared of morning sickness?" and lo and behold, it took over my life with full-force!

(not that I am complaining!)

I had been gleefully eating everything in sight - and I mean EVERYTHING. I was gaining weight too fast, and I didn't care. If I was hungry, I ate. It was wonderful.

And then I tempted fate by saying that maybe I would be lucky and I wouldn't get morning sickness - and it hit.

The good news is that it is further evidence that I am pregnant, because most days that is still too intangible for me to believe. Eating almost anything these days is now a chore. I have to force food down as though I am on an episode of Fear-Factor. The nausea is present when I wake up in the morning, and doesn't go away until around 11 o'clock. Then, the nausea returns around 7:00PM until I go to bed. But in the meantime, eating is a big gamble.

For instance, my daily Starbucks Decaf Iced Coffee? Absolutely nauseating! I never would have believed that was possible, but no sooner had I spend my $2.63 on Saturday, and the entire cup had to be dumped out because one sip sent me gagging.

Sometimes I just know what I need - I was in Target and all of a sudden I said "FROSTED MINI WHEATS!" and that was it. It is the only thing I can get down for breakfast these days. And on Saturday evening all I could think was "Steak Tips" and that was all I could eat for dinner.

Other times I have to make a best-guess, and unfortunately I end up wrong. Like making a whole plate of spaghetti because I think that is what I want, but then not being able to eat more than three bites without my stomach doing somersaults. Anthony and I went out for Mexican yesterday because "I had to have it," and two bites into my chimichanga I found myself apologizing too him. "I guess I was mistaken - this is horribly disgusting." And it wasn't disgusting at all - I just couldn't eat it. I even stole a cookie out of Anthony's hand the other day, took one bite, and handed it right back saying "get this away from me!!!"

I have never - NEVER - had food aversions. I can usually eat pretty much anything. I love food, and I love to eat. The fact that I have to tread lightly these days is very odd to me.

At least it is temporary.

And maybe it will slow down my too-rapid weight gain!