WANT TO PUZZLE FELLOW DRUG STORE CUSTOMERS?

I almost forgot this, this is definitely worth mentioning. Go up to the cashier at your local CVS counter with five items, and check out the look on your fellow customer's faces when the cashier says "That will be two-hundred and sixty one dollars and thirty two cents."

Unfortunately, she was not mistaken. The contents of my shopping basket? Two mother's day cards (one for my mom, and one for my sister - oh, did I mention that she's pregnant?? No sarcasm there, I am thrilled for her, that's just a topic that is SO blogworthy and I haven't had the time to commit to sitting down and discussing it because there is just SO MUCH to spill - so that blog topic is "coming soon", this is merely the trailer - but I digress).

The other three items in my basket? Batteries, the Clear Blue Plan Fertility Monitor ($199.00) and the testing sticks that go with it ($49.99). Jesus Christ, you'd think they'd "throw in" the first round of testing sticks with the micro ovulation computer, huh? Or at least the damn batteries! Even Bill Gates supplies you with a power cord when you buy a new PC.

I figure, after two years of trying to conceive on our own, after three unsuccessful rounds of clomid, after surgery to correct a disease that it turns out I don't have, it might be time to invest the money into this purchase.

When I got home and told Anthony what it cost, he said "the fucking thing better work!" And right then and there, for the first time in MONTHS, I feel to pieces and started sobbing - wailing - and he grabbed me and held me close and just patted my head and said nothing. He knew as well as I did that this outburst was LONG, LONG overdue. We stood that way for a solid fifteen minutes.

"You're right," I finally said..."the fucking thing better work."




(Then we went out for ice cream - the kind with the chocolate dip topping that hardens over the soft-serve cone. Overall I am feeling much better. And I can sort of chuckle thinking about the puzzled expressions on my fellow CVS-shopper's faces.)

I THINK I AM A GLASS-IS-HALF-EMPTY KIND OF A GAL...

I haven't blogged in a few days mostly because I have been resting and recovering. I didn't think I'd have to recover from the shock of what was discovered more than from the pain I am in.

I don't have endometriosis. Not a trace.

You'd think I could see the good in that, wouldn't you? It's just that my endocrinologist was so convinced that I had it. She convinced me of it. I bought books and did research and was embracing my endometriotic self.

I don't have it.

I'm still in shock, so when I can be more rational about what this means I will return to blogging. In the meantime I still have some recovering to do.


(Leave it to me to be discouraged to learn that I do NOT have a disease.)

THE PITFALLS OF BEING IN "IT"

So it is the eve of my surgery...I had to swing by my parent's house to have my mother sign as an alternate agent on my Health Care Proxy Form. You know, what to do if I end up a vegetable, etc.

Well, a few days ago their computer was hit with this new worm that is circulating the globe. So while I am there I am having questions fired at me about why their Quicken Files won't open anymore.

*sigh*

I love my parents, but I am having surgery tomorrow. I am also new to IT and we haven't quite covered "fix the brand new alarmingly destructive viruses" yet. I did not need to be tech support tonight. I've got to eat my "last meal" before the procedure, I've got to get to bed early - I really, really don't need this right now.

The last time they did this to me at an inopportune moment - the eve of my wedding.

Mom and Dad and I may need to have a chat about this.

Anywho, I'll return to blog world post-surgery and hopefully with less endo in my body. Until then I would really like to get FAR away from computers, thank you very much.

Adeiu.

QUATRO DE MAYO

I forgot to go out and enjoy those Margaritas and Coronas I promised myself. Can't today, to close to surgery. Whoops. I'll just have to celebrate Cinco De Mayo next year. No biggie.

I'll live.

BURBERRY, TAKE ME AWAY.....

I am so mad right now I could scream, except I won't because I don't want to bother the neighbors. Monday night TV is the worst, and I was getting snuggly in bed to settle for watching "The Restaurant" (side note: I can't STAND Rocco. I watch the show because I am DYING to see him fail, that arrogant ignorant idiot.) I digress. Anyways, Rocco was preempted by the conclusion to "10.5," the made for TV movie about a massive earthquake swallowing California. No thanks.

So I was flipping around, looking for ANYTHING amusing. I stopped on the Fab 5, but only for a minute. They kind of bore me, but I love that their wardrobe is all Burberry and since Burberry is my achilles heel....in fact the only thing that made me stop on Bravo was the momentary "are those BROWN Burberry pants on Jai?" ANYWHO, I finally landed on a program which was discussing Endometriosis. PERFECT, I thought to myself, and put the remote down so I could settle in and be educated.

The problem is that I apparently didn't notice the crucifix on the wall in the background.

This "expert" begins to explain that endometriosis is generally caused by women "waiting" to try to conceive until they are in their thirties, and by then the damage is done. "Ideally," she insisted, "women should not wait. Really you need to have a baby when you are in your twenties, otherwise you are asking for trouble."

"You BITCH!" I shouted at the TV. Anthony paused the Red Sox downstairs and shouted up "Who are you yelling at?"

"This Catholic Asshole on TV! How dare she judge me!"

I am so mad right now I could scream.

You see, I am damned if I do and damned if I don't with these people. Apparently, I should have had a baby when I was in my twenties - when I was single, poor, and too emotionally immature to handle it? Jesus....

I know I should tune it out, which I did by switching back to Bravo, throwing the remote on the bed, and storming into the office to write. I need to get it out so I can chill and get some sleep. Here I was so happy that I stumbled upon some programming that I thought could be relevant to my current life, some educational program that could help me. Now I am just breathing heavy and full of rage.

I'm going back to bed now, even though I find it boring, I know the Burberry wardrobe on the Fab 5 will at least cheer me up a little. High fashion ALWAYS cheers me up.

I'm such a girl. Someone, please, remind my reproductive system of this fact.